The last time I saw my grandfather his gentle brown eyes were clouded yellow, the telltale signs of jaundice brought on by his failing liver. He shuffled slowly from his bedroom to the couch, unable to summon the strength to walk much further. His body was failing, ravaged by pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver and lungs.
Still he battled on, consuming the flaxseed and cottage cheese mixture of the Budwig Diet alongside the conventional Xeloda chemotherapy agent. He researched homeopathic anti-cancer agents such as AHCC concentrated mushroom extract, vitamin supplements, and juicing but also continued to adhere to his oncologist’s chemo regimen. As many know, pancreatic cancer is among the deadliest of cancers. Like most pancreatic cancer patients, my grandfather was diagnosed at Stage IV, when few treatment options remain. According to the Hirschberg Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research, 75 percent of pancreatic cancer patients die within the first 12 months of the diagnosis. The five-year survival rate is 5 percent.1
That last day, my grandfather’s soft-spoken voice still sounded the same when he called my name. I knelt by his side and he cupped my hands in his. I bit the side of my mouth to keep from crying and told him how much I loved him. Later in the afternoon, I planted pansies and dianthus in my grandparent’s flower garden, bright spots of color to cheer up the bleak days of my grandfather’s illness. I’m not sure he ever saw them; he died just a week later, on March 30, 2007, merely 30 days after we, as a family, first heard the words pancreatic cancer. My grandfather was 67.
Much like my grandfather, James “Rhio” O’Connor received a terminal cancer diagnosis in October 2001, and just like him, he chose to fight. Unlike my grandfather, Mr. O’Connor survived for years after he was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma. This rare cancer is caused by exposure to asbestos, which was found in a myriad of building materials and products before its carcinogenic effect was discovered. According to the American Cancer Society, malignant mesothelioma is cancer of the mesothelium, the cells lining the lungs, abdomen, and heart.2 Surgery was out of the question based on the tumor’s position and chemotherapy would only have hastened a rapid decline in Mr. O’Connor’s quality of life. Mr. O’Connor, essentially, was told to go home and prepare to die.
Yet Mr. O’Connor rejected his prognosis of less than a year to live. He turned to his own research and created a regimen that melded the advice of doctors, researchers, and patients. He altered his diet and added a range of supplements and, above all, listened to what his body was telling him. His steadfast effort resulted in an astounding seven additional years, time enough to write a book, “They Said Months, I Chose Years: A Mesothelioma Survivor's Story." Mr. O’Connor’s story has encouraged countless other cancer patients and survivors. He passed away in September 2009 at the age of 69.
Should I ever face this same deadly opponent, it is my hope that I would have the grace and strength to battle as courageously as Mr. O’Connor and my grandfather. At the outset I would aim to subdue the shock of a cancer diagnosis and turn to my family and faith for strength and support. Although science has yet to prove the effectiveness of many alternative treatments, I believe that there is much we don’t understand. Working with an open-minded oncologist, I would spend hours on the computer researching and speaking to medical personnel to seek out information and sift through the ensuing misinformation. I would be willing to try most anything at a chance to keep my life going. But to be on the safe side, I would weigh the risks and benefits of complementary and alternative treatments, along with the accepted Western regimen of chemo, radiation, and surgery. My hopes are that the scientific community will have furthered their technology in defeating this evil disease and will have better options to allow the patients to live their lives to the fullest. With this in mind, clinical trials may offer potentially more ammunition against cancer and I would aim to participate in the trials I qualify for. After that, from diet modification and acupuncture to gene therapy and biofeedback, my goal would be to battle against the cancer, mind and body.
In the intervening years, I have continued to grieve my grandfather’s death, as I suspect Mr. O’Connor’s family is grieving his. I’ve also come to understand that my grandfather taught me many things during his illness. He remained humble and positive, even as his body was shutting down. He still took pleasure in merely experiencing the process of living. One warm day in March, I recall that he simply sat in the sunshine, his eyes closed, drinking in the feel of the rays. He fought ferociously during his intensely brief illness, but didn’t let the battle overshadow the big picture – who he was fighting for. It was obvious he wasn’t ready to leave us, his family, and we made sure we left nothing unsaid. I felt his love for me and I’m sure he knew how much I loved him. Although I never met Mr. O’Connor, I imagine he, too, battled so courageously for his family. Should I ever face cancer, I’ll be sure to apply these lessons as well.
The dianthus perennials that I planted that terrible March have come back each spring. It hurts knowing that now only my grandmother is here to enjoy them. But both she, and I, can take solace in knowing that we carry my grandfather and his lessons in our hearts.
1. "Pancreatic Cancer Facts". Hirshberg Foundation. 9 February 2010
2. "What is Mesothelioma?". American Cancer Society. 9 February 2010
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